The Turn

February 9, 2018February 9, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Today when I drove to work,

a window opened.

Instead of racing in my thoughts

about the day

and all the angst about

getting things done,

I took a breath.

Not a mindless one,

but a deep, conscious,

life-giving one.

And then I took another,

and a few more after that.

Then I could see again.

I could see how much tension

lived in me.

I could feel the tightness

loosen.

I looked out around me,

and I noticed the trees,

the smiles of others,

the beauty of the day.

All this,

from remembering to breathe!

Oh, I grieve the patterns and traps

of the mind

and its constant power

to distract from the good of life-

its endless power

to keep us busy and off track.

Grant me breath, O God,

and gleaming windows.

Help me to turn my attention

and see!

Bit by Bit

February 3, 2018February 3, 2018 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

Her vision widens a bit

this time

as she enters her day

in the same old way.

Perhaps something new will dawn.

His heart dares to stretch

and open a bit wider.

A new kind of surrender

peeks through the song of pain

on constant rewind.

Life itself can open us

to what is real and true,

if allowed.

We discover this

when we trust enough

to peek

from under the many covers

we have pulled over our head.

With each new glimpse,

we allow the Creator

to fashion us more artfully

beyond the many ways

we have allowed our clay

to harden.

Soften or harden?

Open or close?

Yield or tighten the grip?

Ignore or listen?

These are the daily choices

in finding the path

to Grace.

Pay attention.

Poem · Poetry

Impending Storm

January 3, 2018January 4, 2018 becomingandbeholding3 Comments

A cloud of geese fly

overhead and in circles

and it mirrors

the dis-ease inside of me

as I wait.

I know it is coming –

the discomfort and pain,

the lack of ease.

The impact.

The busyness of preparations

somehow comforts.

But the inside grip

tightens.

Some people enjoy

a storm.

Its drama enlivens.

I am learning to be

separate from it.

So I imagine

that I am the sky.

I expand to embrace

and observe…

the storm happens

but I am separate from it.

This way,

storms can be more

a wonder to behold

and I am not in them.

I am in

but not of

the weather.

I can be the sky.

Poem · Poetry

Christmas Present

December 23, 2017December 23, 2017 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

A new dawning

has been gifted this Christmas.

Beyond the ribbons and bows,

the lights and sparkle,

is a deeply hidden present.

It is wrapped in illumination

and sacred text and story.

Why is it hidden,

this beautiful gift?

It has been buried

by our own distraction

with the hustle and bustle,

the stress and need

to make Christmas special

by our own means –

as if we could control

the gift.

We miss the point.

We speed past the Truth.

We look away from the infant,

tiny and helpless –

completely dependent,

wrapped in Love.

Little baby Jesus was born

to show us the way –

how to Be.

There is no need to

control, construct, or solve

Christmas –

or life.

All is in place.

What we need is to be humble enough

to receive the goodness

God holds for each of us.

We are but infants.

Embracing this Humility with gratitude

is Christmas delivered –

and it is a miracle

when it is received.

Poem · Poetry

Taking the Bow

December 5, 2017December 5, 2017 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Like a flower,

I can take a bow at the end of the day

and rest when the sun rests.

Like a cat,

I can curl up on the couch

and tune out the world

until nourishment or play calls to me.

Like yeast,

stick me in a warm place for a spell

and cover me up

until my energy

rises again into beautiful form.

Even God took a day off.

The silliness of it all

makes me chuckle –

how I have bought into

constant striving

and pushing.

Humility is a gift

and a teacher.

I am finally learning

the wonder and intelligence

of rest.

Poem · Poetry

Not Up to Me

December 1, 2017December 1, 2017 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

Like gears that click into place,

making everything

smooth and running as it should,

the moment you arrive,

you get it.

You get everything.

The Bible calls it

“the secret place of the Most High.”

You deeply know when you are there –

because everything before you

disappears into peace, Love

and the amazing Presence –

including you.

Sounds scary but

it is actually beautiful.

This is true freedom,

the letting go

and letting God.

Don’t let your gears get stuck

by grasping too hard

onto your special brand

of misdirection.

There is nothing to do

or figure out.

Divine Design has it.

Simply trust.

And Love.

Release your grip –

and again,

and again.

Everything is in place

and all is well.

It is not up to you

to figure it out.

Poem · Poetry

Grateful Heart

November 18, 2017March 10, 2018 becomingandbeholding7 Comments

There is a lifting above

and a grounding below,

a warming at the center –

when I remember.

It is like the unexpected gift

presented with love

and perfect timing.

Or the lightness of being

that comes

with surrender

and trust –

even in the midst of

struggle or pain.

I hold onto it

even as I let go,

allowing the divine

to move through,

heal me with its dawning.

“I was born with a grateful heart,”

says the patient

on her dying bed.

I marvel at the gift she has

and how it fills her up at the end,

easing the way.

And then I remember,

so was I.

Poem · Poetry

God in Me

November 7, 2017 becomingandbeholdingLeave a comment

Like the sun
waiting for the earth
to turn towards you,
you wait.

Like roots
thirsty for water,
you reach for me.

Like an audience,
waiting for the story to come together,
for that aha moment
as the meaning sets into mind
and heart,
you long to explode
into hearty applause.

You are the ultimate respecter
of my boundaries
and my journey.
I am amazed at your patience,
as I get so distracted.
Yet you remain,
loving me into
my own dawning.

I can sense your faith in me.
I know you long
for me to give birth to you
in my actions.
The moments when I get it right,
when I can step aside
and allow you through me,
enable you to be visible…
Well, those are the best!

I pray for more of them.
We are in this together.

Ayutthaya Historical Park , Ayutthaya , Thailand

Poem · Poetry

What If?

October 18, 2017 becomingandbeholdingLeave a comment

You know that time
when you put your phone down
so you could attend to me instead?

Or that moment when I was starving,
and about to eat my 20 gram protein bar in the car
but saw a homeless man in the intersection,
and chose to go hungry –
handing him the bar through my open window
with a smile
and no regrets.

Or, how about
that day when I was terribly hurt and angry
and simply let it all go,
suddenly, and with faith and forgiveness
so I could refocus
on something larger than me,
beyond the anger
and the suffocating hurt.
Both just disappeared into a peaceful feeling.

There is a thread –
powerful in its connection
through these moments.
It seems to show
that when we step aside –
dare another way,
beautiful things can happen.

It makes me wonder…
What if?
What if God is the thread?
And the thread connects us to Love
And, well, everything that matters?

And what if God needs us?
Needs us to get out of our own way
and notice the thread?
What if
WE MAKE GOD HAPPEN?

Poem · Poetry

She Kept to Her Schedule

September 24, 2017September 24, 2017 becomingandbeholdingLeave a comment

I remember a time
when time was not just another consumable,
and moments were embraced
instead of thrown away by distraction
and the addiction to over-doing.
A time when moments were moments
and clocks were wall decorations,
their faces barely noticed.
There was no inward push
or unrelenting need to get from here to there,
to check off this list or that.
I remember a time
when moments unfolded
with youthful joy and presence.
That was eons ago.

When did keeping time morph into losing it?
We schedule, we plan, we run around getting things done
and in a flash, another day is done.
Do the morning routine,
get the workout in,
clean up and put on the public face and accessories,
suffer the commute,
work long hours,
scrape together some nutrition,
eat fast and mindlessly,
catch up with social media,
the news,
go to bed.
Then try to sleep with a restless mind in full gear,
still ticking through your list.
Get up.
Do it all over again.
Time is spent.

But not wisely.

Life is short.
We all say it,
but few of us get it
until we get to be fifty something
and our friends start getting sick and dying.
Life is really short!

What if we get to the end of our life,
and this is what our tombstone says:
“Loving mother and wife. She kept to her schedule.”

Ouch.

We must learn the art of The Stop.
Stop the inner push that moves us forward
into the next thing
when we have not even experienced
what is before us
right now.

How many times have I been so busy planning
that I forget to notice
what is in my current vision?
How many times have I missed the colors, the beauty, the scents
the loved one next to me
because I am in my head
instead of my moment?

How many times have I pretended to listen
while I get something else accomplished simultaneously?
How often did I forget to look into your eyes
to see the longing
or the love there?

We are taught to do
instead of to be.
We are deceived into believing
that filling up our days with busyness
means we are doing well in life.
It is not true.

We must stop.
Push the pause button as often as possible.
Notice. Relish. Honor. Appreciate.
Embrace fully
as if our life depended on it,
because it does.

Otherwise, we spend our life
like we are on a credit card binge
which leaves us empty and bankrupt
in the end.

Life is short.