Unceasing Prayer

April 22, 2020 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

Lately, the weight of the world

seems to hold me to my bed

upon waking.

Entering the day requires

an unfamiliar courage.

But even as I lay under

the comfort of my covers,

trying not to face the universal worry,

I know how to be lifted…

I remember to pause.

I look out the window and

my eyes gaze in wonder

at the trees in the morning sky.

I bow inwardly to the beauty of their sparkle.

If the grip in my chest still remains –

threatening to take away wonder and joy,

I place my hands on my heart

and breathe.

I remember to offer myself

love and care.

This anxiety is not about me.

I can let it go.

Then, I look to my right and smile.

My love is at rest and peaceful.

I am reminded to celebrate all the love in my life.

My heart is soothed and

begins to open to the morning.

This is how to start the day

when the world is in pain.

If we practice the art of

transcendance,

and remind ourselves

of what is true and real,

we can step into the Presence

that we are.

So today, I set my intention to

continue in this way

moment by moment,

mindful of what I choose to see.

As I take the covers off,

and step onto the floor,

I lift up my voice and say,

“thank you.”

I gratefully move forward.

Later, if I catch myself

again in the grip of worry,

veering off track,

I lift up a prayer.

I give voice to what is good.

I deepen my gaze and do the work.

This way, darkness and fear

don’t win.

And I am free to love generously.

Regardless of the subject matter, this is the only thing worth teaching; how to uncover the original center and live from there once restored. – Mark Nepo

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Home

March 30, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

My heart is at a loss as it

searches for a home –

even as I sit here, even as I sit here in

the comfort of this place.

My heart is at a loss as it

reaches for a peace –

a peace that calms my restless soul, a soul

that cannot settle in this mess.

My heart is at a loss as it

feels strangled by new limits,

limits that are new and have descended in a

tidal wave, a wave that overwhelms me.

My heart is at a loss as it dreams of

better days, as it dreams of better days filled with

comfort and touch, the touch that heals and soothes,

and plays with long-lost freedom.

This is the home I am in, a home that

holds the fears and worries, a home

that keeps me safe from harm, still. Though my heart is

a tangle which longs to loosen, it is my home, it

is my home.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Catching Myself

July 10, 2019July 10, 2019 becomingandbeholding5 Comments

There you are.

I see you now in the burst of the flower,

the color yellow blessing my eyes

with new and fresh joy.

Instantly, the lift is back

and I rest in the wonder of Presence.

My heart quickens with the reminder that

you are everywhere…

ready to be seen with

a never-ending invitation to

wakefulness.

I am finally learning how

the one who leaves

is never you.

You are as close as my in breath –

that breath that gets neglected

in the constant pant

of unnecessary busyness.

When I catch my breath,

I catch you.

Life is always instructing me.

Just yesterday, I read these words:

Worry is a misuse of imagination.

It was just the right message at

just the right time.

I am glad I noticed it.

It could have just slipped past me…

and it made me question

what else I might have missed

along the way…

I thank you for these reminders.

So simple they are

once grasped.

I realize once again,

and repeatedly,

that you are never far away

and that the barriers

to my learning and freedom

are of my own creation.

There is no blame for this –

I do understand.

As blame is just another unhelpful distraction –

another layer blocking me from you.

To live this precious life,

I must stop piling on the layers

so I can unfold into the naked beauty

of a fully bloomed flower

basking in the glow of the sun.

And where you are,

so will I be.

Uncategorized

Deep Connection

December 22, 2018 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

Poem · Poetry

Between

December 12, 2018December 12, 2018 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

Between my hand

and your hand –

between doing

and being –

between yes

and no –

between the beat of the heart

and what the eyes see…

there is space.

Its gift is as big

or as small

as is our ability to be awake

to the quiet that reveals it.

One knows when they have encountered

a soul who is

acquainted with this space.

For to be in their presence,

is to be

showered with unconditional Love,

grace and attention.

Souls who have done the work,

know deeply that

our travels in life

are best navigated when

there is no rush

between this

and that.

Life is best lived with joy

when our inner brake

is awake

and effective

and we are watchful

of the spaces.

So, be alert to the openings.

Honor them.

The dance of life awaits.

Ask yourself this –

what lies between each breath taken?

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

I Can See Who You Are

October 30, 2018November 11, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

We hustle.

We bustle.

We cover up.

We avoid.

In the constant press forward,

the moments are lost.

When able to still ourselves,

we can catch glimpses of

what is real.

I sat with a patient,

one of the sweet ones

with dementia.

Her eyes alive

with love and openness…

Her speech cute and senseless

most of the time.

I am present to her

and focus on being –

instead of doing.

When the time for goodbye comes,

I touch her shoulder

and lean in.

Her eyes widen

as these words spill forth

in clarity and affection:

“I can see who you are!”

Grace finds me

and I am blessed by her glimpse.

I am reminded…

I am Love.

Poem · Poetry

In the Right Light

October 24, 2018October 30, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

My Love points the camera

towards me

and I playfully resist…

“Take my picture outside

and from that preferred angle, my dear.

It makes a more flattering picture.”

I look in the mirror

and the bathroom light is on dimmer…

All I can see are wrinkles!

I change the brightness in the room

and my image improves.

I find my smile.

My Love, the Artist,

paints a lovely picture.

He uses reflective paints that

need the right angle and intensity

of illumination.

He tilts his creation my way –

in the right light –

its beauty deepens.

All these are glimpses

of an important lesson:

How we see things

is shaped by

the type of light we shine on

what is before us.

To see clearly,

be aware of your beam.

For life is dimmed

and perception is affected

by gloom.

To brighten,

simply flick the switch

and tilt towards it.

Observe the changes.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

The Gray

October 6, 2018October 6, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

It seems easier

when what feels clear and true

is always right, too.

It is a comfort

when the ground on which

we stand and build upon

has the strength

of generations

or habit.

We like our side of the street.

The other side

is far away, and

difficult to see.

It is not important to us.

For all is clear where we are.

It feels safe and protected.

In between these sharp edges

of clarity

is the territory

of the gray.

It is a fuzzier place.

The ground seems shakier.

We are repelled by it –

but, at times,

a bit curious, too.

Mostly,

we prefer familiar ground.

Thankfully, life ends up instructing us

along the way,

through hardship and insight,

to be more open to the gray.

Our edges get worn down

and are revealed to us

as false structures.

In the middle,

is the place of softening

and opening up.

It is the place of meeting –

of healing.

Life is less

black and white

in the gray.

There are new choices to explore,

colors to adore.

When we can learn

to embrace

this middle place,

wisdom is born,

along with a letting go

which liberates

and brings us together.

When we enter the gray,

we have learned the value

of dropping

what does not matter.

Poem · Poetry

Each One, A Mountain

August 11, 2018August 11, 2018 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

Everyone has something…

It is a mantra that is inwardly voiced

more and more

as I get older.

We each have our own brand of challenge.

As life progresses,

these challenges unfold

and introduce themselves.

Sometimes they swallow us up

with the force of a big ocean wave…

Or, they might creep upon us

like a spreading mold.

We get to choose

how to respond

when our personal mountain

shows up.

For some,

the mountain may be too vast

to climb alone –

so we bring loving souls with us.

For others,

the mountain may be a series of hills

which warrants a solo journey –

each vista building strength within.

We may fool ourselves, thinking

that our mountain

is bigger than anyone else’s –

that somehow,

our mountain warrants

special attention…

But as we mature,

and build our climbing muscles,

our compassionate heart opens,

our personal nature fades,

and our vision widens

to see what others endure.

Our climbing becomes

the road to awakening

to what this life

is all about.

Yes, we each have a mountain –

especially designed for our own unfolding…

but as we meet it,

with grace and courage,

the vista that comes,

connects us to the

suffering of others.

This is the stuff of

a life well-lived.

So, I bow to my mountain –

giving thanks for its lessons…

for without its presence,

I would walk with blinders on,

tripping on my own feet,

and all alone.

Poem · Poetry

All The Ways

August 7, 2018August 7, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

All the ways,

I hide from You…

All the ways,

I run.

The wisdom within

continues to wait, to instruct, but –

all the ways

stay stuck.

I fool myself daily, thinking

all the ways

work for me.

They seem to make sense

on the surface, but

living with them

and holding onto them,

trips me up.

I long for

all Your ways…

all Your ways of freedom

of grace,

of truth,

of Love.

I catch glimpses of these.

Sometimes, I am actually

held by their vision,

warmed by their touch,

inspired and lifted

by their presence.

In those moments,

I remember

all the ways

You are present, and

then I know

all the ways

to be.