Uncategorized

Beyond Solitude

November 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding3 Comments

When the chill of being alone

is knitted to the bone,

I long for you,

my friend.

It is too easy to feel capable

of navigating this life

in a solitary way –

to convince myself that

all is well,

and I am fine –

strong and muscled

in all the right places.

But as my bones begin to creak and groan,

and my sturdy stride weakens,

I feel my empty hand hungry

for your grasp.

Life does not want us to be alone.

And now as I sit

in the cold and dark,

the chill in my heart whispers,

“You need someone next to you to

warm this bleak contraction –

for there is no valor in enduring isolation.”

I sigh the kind of sigh that has the breath of the ocean within it…

and realize my need of a companion-

Being competent is not enough anymore,

and does not warm the soul

like a shared laughable moment would.

It’s friends who bring the warmth

with the their love and care,

and also the light which

illuminates and heals.

A good friend walks side by side with you –

a better friend helps you see more

along the way…

They provide the mirror you need

for your own evolution.

And so, the time for reaching out is here.

The confining walls fall away –

and this pressing question reaches my lips:

Where are you?

Uncategorized

Just Me, the Stars, and Hope

October 10, 2021October 10, 2021 becomingandbeholding10 Comments

I like to get up before the sun does.

It is a kind of race

to greet the day first, for

being alone in the stillness of the morning

fuels me.

When I walk in the quiet

of my slumbering neighborhood,

and I can look up at the moon

and the stars,

and feel the crisp morning air

on my sleepy skin,

I am like a wakening flower bud.

I open to the promise

of a new day –

of being in fresh light.

I am a rare creature, I know.

Few would take the covers off so early

to brave the chill.

But me? I just get some coffee in me,

bundle up, and go.

It is the most liberating time of my day –

for yesterday has been filed away…

and it is just me, the stars,

and hope.

So, I lift up my voice

and sing, joining the bird chorus

as the glow begins to dawn.

This is what morning energy does for me.

I move forward through the dark and

rise with the sun.

It is a kind of practice, you see.

If I can dance my way through the dark

feeling safe and happy,

then I have mastered the power

of self-transcendence.

I have learned to let go,

and relax into the flow of life.

It is a kind of cleanse

that reminds me that I am actually

free to be –

and no loss or regret

can keep me under the covers

for very long.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you will never walk alone.
Gerry and the Pacemakers

Uncategorized

Out of the Weeds

September 18, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Photo by **Vitaliy Mitrofanenko** from **Pexels**

You would think

that by the time we reach maturity,

we would know how

to make the way clear

for ourselves…

And yet,

the patterns continue –

the ones that

face-plant us amidst

the tangle around us.

Those frustrating weeds

of all we hang onto

have pinned us down

and left us feeling powerless.

We still have those times when

we forget how to breathe

and Life itself

needs to breathe for us –

teaching the way from

gasps to sighs to

calming deep breaths.

Eventually, with this fortified

and nurturing air,

we become strong enough,

to be receptive to our own truth.

We are ready to

trust our own insights –

and we can stand free

amidst the tangle

before us..

We understand that

Weeds are just flowers

with an angry history –

and compassion finds us.

Only then can we be

safe and whole even

amidst the weeds.

So, when on the ground,

look up –

examine what has been planted..

Drop the fear of harm

and tripping.

Really see the beauty before you.

Each bud and leaf

represents a lesson gained.

Know that the weeds with the thickest stems

and biggest thorns

have been planted by you

and you alone.

Those are the most stubborn

to pull from the ground –

for their roots are hardened

and run deep.

They require more focus

and strength.

Honor them all.

Once truly witnessed,

these trip wires

have fulfilled their purpose

and the way is made clear.

Do you understand?

Love the weeds.

Elevate each one of them,

giving thanks for their wisdom bestowed.

Wake up to the ways

you have cluttered your own path.

Please don’t despair –

for everyone has weeds on their trail.

The way to freedom

is born in taking responsibility…

elevating the pain we have been feeling,

bowing to it,

and setting it free.

You do not need it anymore

for you have arisen from the rubble

healed.

We can clear our own path

if we are brave enough

to nurse the skinned knees and

to cry its tears.

So, pull each weed

and lift it up to the bright blue sky.

You have found your way through.

You can now move forward

and live in joy.

You can be a blessing for the world.

I’m walking uphill, both ways it hurts. I bury my heart here in this dirt. I hope it’s a seed, I hope it works. I need to grow, here I could be. Closer to light, closer to me. Don’t have to do this perfectly. Have I the courage to change?
“Courage” – a song by Pink

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Permission to Grow

May 6, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding3 Comments

With an abundance of time,

I can get a bit lost.

I am used to being driven

by duty,

with all its necessary tasks

keeping me busy.

But I am not so needed

right now –

or so it seems.

Reluctantly, I learn to be grateful

for the quiet,

the stillness that is always underneath.

I sit and open to it.

Once rested and

pretty soon,

my eyes begin to catch a vision

while my heart bubbles forth

with an effervescent song.

Its music is an invitation to grow –

to gather all the pieces

and moments

of wisdom, pain, and insight that

have been stacking in the corners –

to sit with them

and to honor their sacredness.

As I look back to review them,

the melody of their song

begins to weave together.

It travels in and through me,

bringing lightness and energy

to my searching heart.

The music floats up into my awareness

and sings to me:

You know how to knit all this together.

Trust what has been given to you.

The words form into a melody

only I can hear.

I can see now that

there is a song to be born, and

I have been invited

to sing it.

My feet become light

as I learn dance

to a new tune.

“To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.” – Arne Garbing

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

The Return

April 27, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Here we are again.

You are You,

and I am learning to be me.

It’s funny…

this long road I have travelled

with all the detours along the way,

while You simply waited.

I thought I had a long way to go.

But I was wrong.

I just needed to stop

and allow myself

a different view.

Now I am on the vista.

I see your landscape

and my place in it.

It takes my breath away

as all the tension

of trying so hard

floats away.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Unceasing Prayer

April 22, 2020 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

Lately, the weight of the world

seems to hold me to my bed

upon waking.

Entering the day requires

an unfamiliar courage.

But even as I lay under

the comfort of my covers,

trying not to face the universal worry,

I know how to be lifted…

I remember to pause.

I look out the window and

my eyes gaze in wonder

at the trees in the morning sky.

I bow inwardly to the beauty of their sparkle.

If the grip in my chest still remains –

threatening to take away wonder and joy,

I place my hands on my heart

and breathe.

I remember to offer myself

love and care.

This anxiety is not about me.

I can let it go.

Then, I look to my right and smile.

My love is at rest and peaceful.

I am reminded to celebrate all the love in my life.

My heart is soothed and

begins to open to the morning.

This is how to start the day

when the world is in pain.

If we practice the art of

transcendance,

and remind ourselves

of what is true and real,

we can step into the Presence

that we are.

So today, I set my intention to

continue in this way

moment by moment,

mindful of what I choose to see.

As I take the covers off,

and step onto the floor,

I lift up my voice and say,

“thank you.”

I gratefully move forward.

Later, if I catch myself

again in the grip of worry,

veering off track,

I lift up a prayer.

I give voice to what is good.

I deepen my gaze and do the work.

This way, darkness and fear

don’t win.

And I am free to love generously.

Regardless of the subject matter, this is the only thing worth teaching; how to uncover the original center and live from there once restored. – Mark Nepo

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

The Remedy

April 14, 2020April 14, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

When in isolation,

and the feeling of it overwhelms,

remember the love within you.

Look to your heart and

the fullness there, the fullness that

swells with your sweet attention to it.

You are not alone.

You are the branch which stretches and shades from

every tree you have ever sat under.

You are the sea spray that has kissed your face

from every stroll on the beach.

You are the joy of your beloved pet who

always blesses you with pure affection.

You are the song that the morning bird sings.

You are even the touch of every hand held and

every embrace shared.

Every heart contains these wonders

for they have been memorized within

its secret and divine chambers.

Therefore, your heart is the keeper

and she waits for you.

Learning to trust her

allows you to relax into your life

and glow as designed to do so

no matter what is happening outside of you.

Those who know this, know how

to live from the inside.

They know how to touch God.

It is that simple.

The Presence lives in you, so

you are not alone.

I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God. God is nearer to me than I am to myself; my existence depends on the nearness and presence of God. – Meister Eckhart

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

First Draft

April 10, 2020April 10, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

This is not a good poem.

I can’t seem to find my voice –

It is missing among the tangle

in my heart.

I keep digging in the bramble

and coming up empty.

I invite her back

and tell her I miss her soothing tones

which lift and heal.

I miss her guidance.

I know this is an important time –

a time when the losses are dramatic and scary

and a deeper knowing

is required.

I have been preparing for this moment

as have you.

Life has brought us here together.

We have certainly hit the brambles before.

And we have made it through…

But this time I find myself speechless.

The brambles are thick and unrelenting,

paralyzing expression.

It seems a moment

when words cannot dare to speak

what the heart cannot sort

or feel.

It is a time

to nurture the silence.

It needs space right now.

The words can rest

until they know what to say.

Covid 19 Pandemic

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Home

March 30, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

My heart is at a loss as it

searches for a home –

even as I sit here, even as I sit here in

the comfort of this place.

My heart is at a loss as it

reaches for a peace –

a peace that calms my restless soul, a soul

that cannot settle in this mess.

My heart is at a loss as it

feels strangled by new limits,

limits that are new and have descended in a

tidal wave, a wave that overwhelms me.

My heart is at a loss as it dreams of

better days, as it dreams of better days filled with

comfort and touch, the touch that heals and soothes,

and plays with long-lost freedom.

This is the home I am in, a home that

holds the fears and worries, a home

that keeps me safe from harm, still. Though my heart is

a tangle which longs to loosen, it is my home, it

is my home.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Weather

March 23, 2020May 28, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

When fear is everywhere,

take a breath.

Remind yourself that

as real as the fear feels,

it is a passing storm.

You can see it but

you don’t belong to it.

Remember that you are not the weather.

You are the sky.

We can choose to be blown away

and knocked off our feet…

or we can choose

to have the compassionate and wise view from above.

We can be observant

while holding on to

who we really are.

Only by holding fast to the good in us –

our expansive being –

can we truly be helpful

or even present.

So, keep your eyes open

while patiently riding it out.

Don’t allow yourself to get knocked over

or sucked into the whirlwind.

Be ever-present and calm

just like the blue sky

which endures every storm.

“I am the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” – Pema Chodron