In Need of Water

March 30, 2023 becomingandbeholdingLeave a comment

Two days ago the sun was shining so

I bought myself some sunflowers.

Yesterday it rained

so I allowed the tears to form and flow.

Today I rise in darkness

hoping for the light to show up.

Every day gives me the chance

to use what is given.

When the drain of routine threatens to pull me down,

it helps to look around,

to check the weather of what is actually here.

The sunflowers need water so I help them –

in the helping, I notice am refreshed, too.

Leaning now with the flowers

toward the light,

I understand again the lift of kindness

and the necessity of attention to

the life that is given.

A Proper Sorting and Tossing

June 11, 2022June 11, 2022 becomingandbeholdingLeave a comment

I take it in,

all the goodness

I can wrap myself around.

I take it in,

and I hold it dear.

I let it crowd and smother

the junk that remains

from all past hurts and loss.

I push these out and out.

There is no time for clinging to old hurts.

There is only room

for the good things.

So I sweep and dust,

sort and toss.

I keep a tidy home

in this heart of mine.

No matter the weather outside,

despite all storms and struggle

which rattle the windows,

no matter any darkness looming,

nothing is glued to me

but that which nurtures and lightens.

Whatever is not worth keeping

passes through me

as if through a window.

Of course I see it as it passes…

I do notice the unpleasant winds

and the damage they can produce –

but I don’t let them blow me over.

There is plenty else to own,

to cherish,

to foster.

These things are knit to the bone

so I can remain steady on my feet.

Growing older grants this

wisdom of discernment.

I finally know

how to welcome the light that shows up –

even if it is just a flicker.

This is what I take in and cradle with tenderness.

This is how I shine from within

and build resilience.

Examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good.

1 Thessalonians 5: 21

I realize there’s something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they’re experts at letting things go.
Jeffrey McDaniel

Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com

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In The Space of Silence

March 15, 2022March 15, 2022 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

When I remember to take a breath,

to stop,

to get quiet,

it’s as if my eyes automatically open more.

I can see the details…

the robins digging for worms,

the leaves fluttering in the breeze,

the expression lines deepening

on the face of my beloved.

It is the quiet

that wakes me up.

With no noise to distract me,

I can also find the words.

Somehow the container of my heart

has permission to open,

spilling out with the cry of prayer

and the lyrics of grace.

I hear my own speech, and

in that listening,

I realize

I have become quiet enough

to be held by it all.

All this…

in the space of silence –

this place I call

my home.

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Just Me, the Stars, and Hope

October 10, 2021October 10, 2021 becomingandbeholding12 Comments

I like to get up before the sun does.

It is a kind of race

to greet the day first, for

being alone in the stillness of the morning

fuels me.

When I walk in the quiet

of my slumbering neighborhood,

and I can look up at the moon

and the stars,

and feel the crisp morning air

on my sleepy skin,

I am like a wakening flower bud.

I open to the promise

of a new day –

of being in fresh light.

I am a rare creature, I know.

Few would take the covers off so early

to brave the chill.

But me? I just get some coffee in me,

bundle up, and go.

It is the most liberating time of my day –

for yesterday has been filed away…

and it is just me, the stars,

and hope.

So, I lift up my voice

and sing, joining the bird chorus

as the glow begins to dawn.

This is what morning energy does for me.

I move forward through the dark and

rise with the sun.

It is a kind of practice, you see.

If I can dance my way through the dark

feeling safe and happy,

then I have mastered the power

of self-transcendence.

I have learned to let go,

and relax into the flow of life.

It is a kind of cleanse

that reminds me that I am actually

free to be –

and no loss or regret

can keep me under the covers

for very long.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you will never walk alone.
Gerry and the Pacemakers

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Out of the Weeds

September 18, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Photo by **Vitaliy Mitrofanenko** from **Pexels**

You would think

that by the time we reach maturity,

we would know how

to make the way clear

for ourselves…

And yet,

the patterns continue –

the ones that

face-plant us amidst

the tangle around us.

Those frustrating weeds

of all we hang onto

have pinned us down

and left us feeling powerless.

We still have those times when

we forget how to breathe

and Life itself

needs to breathe for us –

teaching the way from

gasps to sighs to

calming deep breaths.

Eventually, with this fortified

and nurturing air,

we become strong enough,

to be receptive to our own truth.

We are ready to

trust our own insights –

and we can stand free

amidst the tangle

before us..

We understand that

Weeds are just flowers

with an angry history –

and compassion finds us.

Only then can we be

safe and whole even

amidst the weeds.

So, when on the ground,

look up –

examine what has been planted..

Drop the fear of harm

and tripping.

Really see the beauty before you.

Each bud and leaf

represents a lesson gained.

Know that the weeds with the thickest stems

and biggest thorns

have been planted by you

and you alone.

Those are the most stubborn

to pull from the ground –

for their roots are hardened

and run deep.

They require more focus

and strength.

Honor them all.

Once truly witnessed,

these trip wires

have fulfilled their purpose

and the way is made clear.

Do you understand?

Love the weeds.

Elevate each one of them,

giving thanks for their wisdom bestowed.

Wake up to the ways

you have cluttered your own path.

Please don’t despair –

for everyone has weeds on their trail.

The way to freedom

is born in taking responsibility…

elevating the pain we have been feeling,

bowing to it,

and setting it free.

You do not need it anymore

for you have arisen from the rubble

healed.

We can clear our own path

if we are brave enough

to nurse the skinned knees and

to cry its tears.

So, pull each weed

and lift it up to the bright blue sky.

You have found your way through.

You can now move forward

and live in joy.

You can be a blessing for the world.

I’m walking uphill, both ways it hurts. I bury my heart here in this dirt. I hope it’s a seed, I hope it works. I need to grow, here I could be. Closer to light, closer to me. Don’t have to do this perfectly. Have I the courage to change?
“Courage” – a song by Pink

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

The Return

April 27, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Here we are again.

You are You,

and I am learning to be me.

It’s funny…

this long road I have travelled

with all the detours along the way,

while You simply waited.

I thought I had a long way to go.

But I was wrong.

I just needed to stop

and allow myself

a different view.

Now I am on the vista.

I see your landscape

and my place in it.

It takes my breath away

as all the tension

of trying so hard

floats away.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Unceasing Prayer

April 22, 2020 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

Lately, the weight of the world

seems to hold me to my bed

upon waking.

Entering the day requires

an unfamiliar courage.

But even as I lay under

the comfort of my covers,

trying not to face the universal worry,

I know how to be lifted…

I remember to pause.

I look out the window and

my eyes gaze in wonder

at the trees in the morning sky.

I bow inwardly to the beauty of their sparkle.

If the grip in my chest still remains –

threatening to take away wonder and joy,

I place my hands on my heart

and breathe.

I remember to offer myself

love and care.

This anxiety is not about me.

I can let it go.

Then, I look to my right and smile.

My love is at rest and peaceful.

I am reminded to celebrate all the love in my life.

My heart is soothed and

begins to open to the morning.

This is how to start the day

when the world is in pain.

If we practice the art of

transcendance,

and remind ourselves

of what is true and real,

we can step into the Presence

that we are.

So today, I set my intention to

continue in this way

moment by moment,

mindful of what I choose to see.

As I take the covers off,

and step onto the floor,

I lift up my voice and say,

“thank you.”

I gratefully move forward.

Later, if I catch myself

again in the grip of worry,

veering off track,

I lift up a prayer.

I give voice to what is good.

I deepen my gaze and do the work.

This way, darkness and fear

don’t win.

And I am free to love generously.

Regardless of the subject matter, this is the only thing worth teaching; how to uncover the original center and live from there once restored. – Mark Nepo

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Home

March 30, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

My heart is at a loss as it

searches for a home –

even as I sit here, even as I sit here in

the comfort of this place.

My heart is at a loss as it

reaches for a peace –

a peace that calms my restless soul, a soul

that cannot settle in this mess.

My heart is at a loss as it

feels strangled by new limits,

limits that are new and have descended in a

tidal wave, a wave that overwhelms me.

My heart is at a loss as it dreams of

better days, as it dreams of better days filled with

comfort and touch, the touch that heals and soothes,

and plays with long-lost freedom.

This is the home I am in, a home that

holds the fears and worries, a home

that keeps me safe from harm, still. Though my heart is

a tangle which longs to loosen, it is my home, it

is my home.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Releasing the Bud

February 26, 2020March 15, 2020 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

That thing you have been dodging –

maybe for years,

could be your true gift.

We often hide

and shy away from

the reason we are here –

what we have to offer.

We don’t mean to…

In fact, we think we are doing the best we can.

But our inner restlessness

and discomfort with life,

is often a clue

that we are leaning in the wrong direction.

We are a flower

that hesitates to bloom –

being tight in the bud.

Eventually, we listen to inspiration

and we are nudged

to dare and turn toward the sunshine

to stretch our petals.

We open up.

As we stretch and grow,

stretch and grow,

we are quenched with grace

and a new freedom.

Finally, we are on the beam,

warmed by a dazzling light which

illuminates our path ahead.

We become a blessing for others

in the sharing of our gift.

We radiate.

This is what it means

to say “Yes!”

to the life and love

born within us.

Nothing is more beautiful

or so urgently needed.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Be You

January 2, 2020January 2, 2020 becomingandbeholding14 Comments

There are examples everywhere…

The petals of the flower

unfold with grace

and without struggle.

The dog wags his tail

without question

or worry about how silly he may appear.

The cloud floats

across a big sky –

allowing the breezes to direct it.

The waves surge –

rising and falling

to a mysterious rhythm and song

and changes as necessary.

So, what is this angst

that pulls at you,

fooling you into thinking

that there is something wrong?

Look at the path ahead.

It unwinds without effort.

You need not know where it leads.

It matters not

how your path differs

from the one next to you.

This is your path.

Feel the ground under you.

Walk.