First Draft

April 10, 2020April 10, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

This is not a good poem.

I can’t seem to find my voice –

It is missing among the tangle

in my heart.

I keep digging in the bramble

and coming up empty.

I invite her back

and tell her I miss her soothing tones

which lift and heal.

I miss her guidance.

I know this is an important time –

a time when the losses are dramatic and scary

and a deeper knowing

is required.

I have been preparing for this moment

as have you.

Life has brought us here together.

We have certainly hit the brambles before.

And we have made it through…

But this time I find myself speechless.

The brambles are thick and unrelenting,

paralyzing expression.

It seems a moment

when words cannot dare to speak

what the heart cannot sort

or feel.

It is a time

to nurture the silence.

It needs space right now.

The words can rest

until they know what to say.

Covid 19 Pandemic

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Home

March 30, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

My heart is at a loss as it

searches for a home –

even as I sit here, even as I sit here in

the comfort of this place.

My heart is at a loss as it

reaches for a peace –

a peace that calms my restless soul, a soul

that cannot settle in this mess.

My heart is at a loss as it

feels strangled by new limits,

limits that are new and have descended in a

tidal wave, a wave that overwhelms me.

My heart is at a loss as it dreams of

better days, as it dreams of better days filled with

comfort and touch, the touch that heals and soothes,

and plays with long-lost freedom.

This is the home I am in, a home that

holds the fears and worries, a home

that keeps me safe from harm, still. Though my heart is

a tangle which longs to loosen, it is my home, it

is my home.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Releasing the Bud

February 26, 2020March 15, 2020 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

That thing you have been dodging –

maybe for years,

could be your true gift.

We often hide

and shy away from

the reason we are here –

what we have to offer.

We don’t mean to…

In fact, we think we are doing the best we can.

But our inner restlessness

and discomfort with life,

is often a clue

that we are leaning in the wrong direction.

We are a flower

that hesitates to bloom –

being tight in the bud.

Eventually, we listen to inspiration

and we are nudged

to dare and turn toward the sunshine

to stretch our petals.

We open up.

As we stretch and grow,

stretch and grow,

we are quenched with grace

and a new freedom.

Finally, we are on the beam,

warmed by a dazzling light which

illuminates our path ahead.

We become a blessing for others

in the sharing of our gift.

We radiate.

This is what it means

to say “Yes!”

to the life and love

born within us.

Nothing is more beautiful

or so urgently needed.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Nevertheless, Spring Forth!

January 10, 2020January 10, 2020 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

The weight is heavy –

this boulder on top of you.

It came out of nowhere!

You are stuck.

Never before have you felt such a hard, unrelenting blockage.

This rock is cold.

This pain is real.

It is time to hunker down

and see who is with you –

to be reminded that you are not alone.

Your roots reach to touch others

who share your dilemma,

your pain.

As the seeds within you

fight for survival,

you dare to stretch.

You find another.

Together, your reach is stronger.

Together, you find a community –

one that works together

to search the cold surfaces

to find the cracks.

For, no matter how hard the rock is,

it is no match

for the faith of a community

that seeks the light.

Your strength is in knowing that

the light is always there.

It cannot be extinguished –

no matter how big or daunting

the rock is.

Therefore, bloom!

Do not give up.

Reach for the light together.

Crack that rock apart

and let the strength within

spring forth!

You have it in you –

for you were born to find the light.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Be You

January 2, 2020January 2, 2020 becomingandbeholding14 Comments

There are examples everywhere…

The petals of the flower

unfold with grace

and without struggle.

The dog wags his tail

without question

or worry about how silly he may appear.

The cloud floats

across a big sky –

allowing the breezes to direct it.

The waves surge –

rising and falling

to a mysterious rhythm and song

and changes as necessary.

So, what is this angst

that pulls at you,

fooling you into thinking

that there is something wrong?

Look at the path ahead.

It unwinds without effort.

You need not know where it leads.

It matters not

how your path differs

from the one next to you.

This is your path.

Feel the ground under you.

Walk.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

What Lies Beneath

December 7, 2019December 7, 2019 becomingandbeholding3 Comments

The deeper I go

into understanding all

that is,

the more

I appreciate this

gift of life.

Working with the dying

is a visual lesson

of the peeling away of

the layers.

It is also a heart lesson.

For when the exterior is finished,

what is left?

This is the ever-present question.

To live from heart and soul,

and to avoid the outward distractions,

means to leave

your presence and love behind

when the body is gone.

So, I am learning the lessons

of letting go now.

I let go of everything

that is not connected to Truth and Love.

Because when my body is gone,

I want those who knew me

to know that my love was real

and that I lived with an open

and generous heart.

For it is the Love that lies beneath

that lingers after we leave.

This is the miracle of

eternal life.

We live on in the hearts of others

and in the memory of time.

Uncategorized

The Nub of It All

November 9, 2019November 9, 2019 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

You will not find your way through a constant push. You will not reach your perceived pinnacle by force of will or never-ending trying. Believe it or not, the struggle is not necessary. In fact, it is harmful. For the more you exert against your imagined challenges, the farther away from presence you are. So, drop it all. Let go of your effortful ways. Open your eyes and look upon yourself as if you are separate from who you are in the world…because, in fact, you are. And as you look, don’t you dare be harsh. For there is no judgment here. We are all given this chance to learn to correct ourselves and embrace a larger belonging. We are born infants in a world which leads us astray from the truth of who we really are. Only those who catch glimpses of this reality are able to wake up and be free. So, get curious about how you move through your day. Keep a watchful eye as to your habits and reactions – your feelings. Look within at your thoughts and the movement of your heart. Listen to your life. Observe how the world works and interacts but keep a larger view. Pay attention and open your heart and mind to inspiration. Take pauses. Be receptive to your learning. Eventually, the gift of freedom and unimaginable presence will bubble up within you, lifting you up and out of your misdirected ways, and bring you a sparkling and sustainable joy along with all the energy you need to do the work you are here to do. You will learn what love really is and how to extend it and embrace it. It is really that simple. You just get out of your own way. You learn to be.

Poem · Poetry

A Teacher in the Midst

November 1, 2019November 9, 2019 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

He sits in my lap

purring away, as is his normal routine.

We greet the morning together

this way

every day.

Me with my coffee and laptop,

him with an open attentiveness.

Sure, the creature needs have been met –

he has had his breakfast –

and I already noted my coffee…

But once nurtured and fed,

my kitty always presents himself to me

to demonstrate his gratitude.

There is no other agenda –

just togetherness and

presence embraced.

I celebrate this simplicity

and his example.

He is regal in his ability to just be.

It is a treasure to behold.

I take a moment to bow to the Master

and give thanks for his furry presence

freely given.

Namaste, dear creature.

I can see you.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Holding Hands

October 22, 2019June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Like trees sharing the same forest,

we reach for one another

as we bask in the light of life.

In moments of ease

and in times of stress,

it really does not matter which –

I love when our fingers are entwined

and I can feel the warmth of you.

No words need to be spoken

so we can do this lovely action

even in public.

All that is needed is the touch of skin

and the wrapping of fingers

to affirm our connection.

We are in this together,

you and I.

We have journeyed together enough now that

my soul has memorized the

contours of your hand

and how sweetly mine fits within it.

I shall carry you with me always

though all kinds of weather

and even when we are apart.

For your hand is now imprinted

on my heart.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Mosaic Moments

September 13, 2019September 13, 2019 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

Transitions increase a felt wistfulness.

We look back

and long for

what worked before.

Those pieces of us that

like routine and

the comfort of the predictable –

well, those parts feel sharp

in such seasons –

the edges hurt.

And yet, there is the buzz –

the bubbling energy of the new,

of possibility.

There are new faces to greet,

new tasks to learn and

fresh ways to open the heart

and to be.

Life is

as life does-

and its mysteries inspire and instruct.

Its best when

there is a mix of things

for the creative touch of God is genius

and multi-dimensional.

So, even when loss

is the larger piece at the time,

there will always be the sparkle

and felt presence

of grace, of love … even joy.

When awake,

we can wonder at and

give thanks for

the whole design of it all.

We see our piece in the creation.

Gratitude for Anne Lamott and her coining of the term, “mosaic moments” in her recent book, Almost Everything.