He laid in his hospital bed

set up next to his wife’s bed –

his hands contracted

and useless,

his body dependent

on the help of others –

just to move at all,

or eat, or even

brush his teeth.

This bed has been his dwelling place

for over five years,

his disease shrinking and stiffening his body,

rendering his muscles

unworkable –

keeping him confined,

and stuck.

He is one of my favorite patients.

His eyes always sparkle,

his mind is unfailingly engaged,

his words ever generous.

“I am a lucky guy.”

This is the song he sings

no matter what pain may be present

or loss on the forefront.

“I have no complaints.”

Before him,

on his bookcase,

are about 50 journal books

he has filled

with reflections and illustrations

of his weekly walks in the woods

as he observed and gloried

in the wonders of nature.

“Nature used to be my religion.

And then I found God.”

This was life pre-diagnosis.

When I look at him,

a prisoner in his bed and so small,

I am grateful

he had a former life

of movement and joy

in Nature and beyond this room.

“I am a lucky guy,”

he states again and again,

and I marvel at

how he glows.

He has an understanding

that I hope is within reach for me.

He knows

that everyone has “something”

and this is his.

“The way I figure it,” he states,

“God put me here for a reason.

And when anyone comes to see me,

I hope I can be a light for them.

I hope I can make them happy.”

He radiates

effortlessly and profoundly

and I cannot help

but be changed.

He shows me the way

to what is real.

I begin to understand

the gift of joy

in all circumstances

and the suffering that comes

with resisting

what lies before us.

As I say goodbye,

He says,

“I hope I will see you again.”

I smile.

Oh, you will.

You will.

Copyright© Cynthia Cady Stanton, 2018