First Draft

April 10, 2020April 10, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

This is not a good poem.

I can’t seem to find my voice –

It is missing among the tangle

in my heart.

I keep digging in the bramble

and coming up empty.

I invite her back

and tell her I miss her soothing tones

which lift and heal.

I miss her guidance.

I know this is an important time –

a time when the losses are dramatic and scary

and a deeper knowing

is required.

I have been preparing for this moment

as have you.

Life has brought us here together.

We have certainly hit the brambles before.

And we have made it through…

But this time I find myself speechless.

The brambles are thick and unrelenting,

paralyzing expression.

It seems a moment

when words cannot dare to speak

what the heart cannot sort

or feel.

It is a time

to nurture the silence.

It needs space right now.

The words can rest

until they know what to say.

Covid 19 Pandemic

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Stepping Into the Poem

September 18, 2019September 18, 2019 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Whether the writer or the reader,

the words given

are light for the road.

They spring from that fountain

that intends to nourish and cleanse.

The soul speaks,

the heart listens,

and the self awakens –

as it surprisingly

lets go of itself.

And that which seemed only for the few

is found.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Short and Sweet

December 21, 2018December 21, 2018 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

To be a poet,

wake up with wings poised to

float on your morning breath.

Let your eyes open as windows

that God may see.

Turn on the inner flame

and alight the senses.

Choose to be the love

you seek to understand.

Be watchful as

the words arrive

and sing faithfully

from the heart of your soul.

Surrender to how

they change you

as the poem

is born.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Word Provider

November 14, 2018 becomingandbeholding8 Comments

Often when I sit to write,

the decision is spontaneous.

I may be in my usual routine,

and then the urge bubbles up.

A thought comes…

Maybe I will write.

Then I simply position my fingers on the keyboard

and out it flows.

My head, heart, and fingers

are connected to that larger reality

that usually slips through the fingers.

It is an act of faith –

to put myself in the position

to be available

and receive.

I trust the words will come.

And when they do,

I am one with Inspiration

and being

me.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Loss For Words

October 3, 2018October 3, 2018 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

When I have a moment

or three,

I like to sit

and light a candle.

I open my laptop

and position my hands…

my fingers are at the ready.

I wait for the words.

Sometimes they arrive

rather quickly.

Lately,

for reasons only my soul knows,

not so much.

I wonder why this is so.

It has been a challenging time

of late

with a health issue here –

relationship issues there…

My mind and heart

have been busy

and not in the good way –

the way of truth and inspiration.

My spiritual training teaches me

that my distractions of late

are just that –

DISTRACTIONS.

They have a quality of

friction –

and friction usually

rubs the wrong way.

It can also hurt and harm

when it keeps going

and the tender places

get wounded.

My task now

is to reorient myself.

It is time to surrender

in faith

and allow myself to be lifted

out and beyond

anything that keeps me

from being

who I really am.

It is time to heal.

So, no more scratching the itch

of all that seems

to be rubbing –

keeping me focussed

on the discomforts of life

that are not real.

Instead, I will mindfully

let go of all that.

It is time to step aside

from the personal

and be here wholeheartedly

as a channel for the divine –

to be a beneficial presence.

What could possibly be better?

It takes practice –

and attention –

moment to moment.

This is not what we are taught

but it is available to us

as the literal,

ANSWER-

the one we all seek.

I speak the truth.

The fact I know that

means I am on my way…

So, here I go.

Perhaps this larger

expanse of view

will bring

my words back to me

so I can be helpful

to others

as the divine reaches

through everything I offer

as an expression

of divine love –

always available,

but not always seen.

It seems a beautiful endeavor.

Poem · Poetry

This Golden Crack

September 5, 2018September 5, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Like a canvas

before the artist’s brush,

we get our markings.

Our unique hues

and textures

create the picture

of what seems to be true

about us.

But sometimes life is lived

more like a ceramic pot –

one that gets cracked

along the way…

shattered, even –

the mending of which

is complicated work.

It takes the artist’s hands

and keen attention to detail

to put the pieces together,

beautifully.

It is a necessary process.

This breaking,

followed by the recognition of the mess,

enables us to be held

and mended.

When we submit to the

Master’s hands,

and allow for the

hard work to be done,

we are fashioned anew.

Our cracks become golden

and essential.

We are forever changed, and

we shine with humble strength

from our broken places.

Like the Velveteen Rabbit,

we have been loved into

becoming more real.

Tea bowl Tea bowl — ; Japan; 17th century; Stoneware with clear, crackled glaze, stained by ink; gold lacquer repairs.; H x W: 10.5 x 12.2 cm (4 1/8 x 4 13/16 in); Gift of Charles Lang Freer

Poem · Poetry

Signal Lights

May 23, 2018May 23, 2018 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

With the guiding of inspiration,

they come through me,

pointing the way.

Their clarity can be piercing –

sharp and brilliant,

beacons through my

self-created fog.

I wonder at how

they show up-

just when I need them the most.

They are like friends who

know when a smile or a hug

is needed.

And, in the same way,

they are cherished, unconditionally.

This is what my poems mean for me.

I help create them, but

do not quite live them yet.

They love me still.

Funny, how words create worlds…

the beyond is brought forth

in the same way

a kiss presents affection.

Poem · Poetry

The Poems

February 17, 2018March 8, 2018 becomingandbeholdingLeave a comment

You arrive as whispers

calling sweetly in my ear,

causing me to pause and ponder –

leading me forward.

It is like the dawning of hunger

when, no matter what I am doing,

I can think of nothing else.

The urgency must be addressed.

Words must be shaped,

voiced –

labored over and delivered.

Inspiration has called to me.

Each time she visits,

I come alive a little more.

I am born

again and again –

in a blanket of words.

Why me?

I sometimes wonder…

but I open to her, anyway –

and learn to surrender again

to her message

and to what is real.

The whole dance we do

creates a hunger

that builds.

I want more.

In the meantime,

I live the poems I have.

I hold them close to me –

with pregnant anticipation,

I wait for the others.

Poem · Poetry

Blank Page

December 11, 2017December 18, 2017 becomingandbeholding5 Comments

Facing a blank page

waiting for inspiration

is akin to the early morning hours –

when no one else is up,

not even the sun.

Its newness and freshness

has a daunting yet hopeful quality.

I simply love the mornings.

And now I am learning to love

the empty page.

Just like each day,

there are times

when I falter,

filling the white space with nonsense

and disappointing myself.

But when creativity shows up,

when I am engaged in the flow

of divine connection,

nothing else matters.

I have found Presence

once again.

If only each moment

could be like this!

And then I remember,

yes.

Each moment can.

I just need to stay awake

and get out of my own way.

Poem · Poetry

Singing a New Song

October 15, 2017October 15, 2017 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Not sure how it happened

whether it was gradual

or sudden.

I wish I could remember

the moment it all changed –

when my voice no longer matched

the person that I am.

Suddenly,

it hurt to speak –

not only physically,

but existentially.

It has been a painful five years.

Do you know what it is like

to hate the sound of your own voice?

To feel the inward disdain

and embarrassment?

To see the expressions of others change

when you dare to speak?

To bravely express yourself despite it all

and then to feel the pain of faulty speech patterns?

It has a way of shutting a person up,

holding you back.

But now I have hope again,

hope of a voice that sings effortlessly,

a voice that is a joy to listen to,

lilting and silky,

warm and welcoming –

powerful in its message and impact,

comforting and present.

I have hope of healing

the incongruence

of who I am and how I sound.

You see,

I have all this love in my heart

and a soul that needs expression.

Now that I am getting real help with my voice problem,

my whole life is opening up

to what I can be and do

as a beneficial presence for others.

Let the healing commence.

I am in!