Permission to Grow

May 6, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding3 Comments

With an abundance of time,

I can get a bit lost.

I am used to being driven

by duty,

with all its necessary tasks

keeping me busy.

But I am not so needed

right now –

or so it seems.

Reluctantly, I learn to be grateful

for the quiet,

the stillness that is always underneath.

I sit and open to it.

Once rested and

pretty soon,

my eyes begin to catch a vision

while my heart bubbles forth

with an effervescent song.

Its music is an invitation to grow –

to gather all the pieces

and moments

of wisdom, pain, and insight that

have been stacking in the corners –

to sit with them

and to honor their sacredness.

As I look back to review them,

the melody of their song

begins to weave together.

It travels in and through me,

bringing lightness and energy

to my searching heart.

The music floats up into my awareness

and sings to me:

You know how to knit all this together.

Trust what has been given to you.

The words form into a melody

only I can hear.

I can see now that

there is a song to be born, and

I have been invited

to sing it.

My feet become light

as I learn dance

to a new tune.

“To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.” – Arne Garbing

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

The Return

April 27, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

Here we are again.

You are You,

and I am learning to be me.

It’s funny…

this long road I have travelled

with all the detours along the way,

while You simply waited.

I thought I had a long way to go.

But I was wrong.

I just needed to stop

and allow myself

a different view.

Now I am on the vista.

I see your landscape

and my place in it.

It takes my breath away

as all the tension

of trying so hard

floats away.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Unceasing Prayer

April 22, 2020 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

Lately, the weight of the world

seems to hold me to my bed

upon waking.

Entering the day requires

an unfamiliar courage.

But even as I lay under

the comfort of my covers,

trying not to face the universal worry,

I know how to be lifted…

I remember to pause.

I look out the window and

my eyes gaze in wonder

at the trees in the morning sky.

I bow inwardly to the beauty of their sparkle.

If the grip in my chest still remains –

threatening to take away wonder and joy,

I place my hands on my heart

and breathe.

I remember to offer myself

love and care.

This anxiety is not about me.

I can let it go.

Then, I look to my right and smile.

My love is at rest and peaceful.

I am reminded to celebrate all the love in my life.

My heart is soothed and

begins to open to the morning.

This is how to start the day

when the world is in pain.

If we practice the art of

transcendance,

and remind ourselves

of what is true and real,

we can step into the Presence

that we are.

So today, I set my intention to

continue in this way

moment by moment,

mindful of what I choose to see.

As I take the covers off,

and step onto the floor,

I lift up my voice and say,

“thank you.”

I gratefully move forward.

Later, if I catch myself

again in the grip of worry,

veering off track,

I lift up a prayer.

I give voice to what is good.

I deepen my gaze and do the work.

This way, darkness and fear

don’t win.

And I am free to love generously.

Regardless of the subject matter, this is the only thing worth teaching; how to uncover the original center and live from there once restored. – Mark Nepo

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

The Remedy

April 14, 2020April 14, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

When in isolation,

and the feeling of it overwhelms,

remember the love within you.

Look to your heart and

the fullness there, the fullness that

swells with your sweet attention to it.

You are not alone.

You are the branch which stretches and shades from

every tree you have ever sat under.

You are the sea spray that has kissed your face

from every stroll on the beach.

You are the joy of your beloved pet who

always blesses you with pure affection.

You are the song that the morning bird sings.

You are even the touch of every hand held and

every embrace shared.

Every heart contains these wonders

for they have been memorized within

its secret and divine chambers.

Therefore, your heart is the keeper

and she waits for you.

Learning to trust her

allows you to relax into your life

and glow as designed to do so

no matter what is happening outside of you.

Those who know this, know how

to live from the inside.

They know how to touch God.

It is that simple.

The Presence lives in you, so

you are not alone.

I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God. God is nearer to me than I am to myself; my existence depends on the nearness and presence of God. – Meister Eckhart

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

First Draft

April 10, 2020April 10, 2020 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

This is not a good poem.

I can’t seem to find my voice –

It is missing among the tangle

in my heart.

I keep digging in the bramble

and coming up empty.

I invite her back

and tell her I miss her soothing tones

which lift and heal.

I miss her guidance.

I know this is an important time –

a time when the losses are dramatic and scary

and a deeper knowing

is required.

I have been preparing for this moment

as have you.

Life has brought us here together.

We have certainly hit the brambles before.

And we have made it through…

But this time I find myself speechless.

The brambles are thick and unrelenting,

paralyzing expression.

It seems a moment

when words cannot dare to speak

what the heart cannot sort

or feel.

It is a time

to nurture the silence.

It needs space right now.

The words can rest

until they know what to say.

Covid 19 Pandemic

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Home

March 30, 2020June 6, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

My heart is at a loss as it

searches for a home –

even as I sit here, even as I sit here in

the comfort of this place.

My heart is at a loss as it

reaches for a peace –

a peace that calms my restless soul, a soul

that cannot settle in this mess.

My heart is at a loss as it

feels strangled by new limits,

limits that are new and have descended in a

tidal wave, a wave that overwhelms me.

My heart is at a loss as it dreams of

better days, as it dreams of better days filled with

comfort and touch, the touch that heals and soothes,

and plays with long-lost freedom.

This is the home I am in, a home that

holds the fears and worries, a home

that keeps me safe from harm, still. Though my heart is

a tangle which longs to loosen, it is my home, it

is my home.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Weather

March 23, 2020May 28, 2021 becomingandbeholding1 Comment

When fear is everywhere,

take a breath.

Remind yourself that

as real as the fear feels,

it is a passing storm.

You can see it but

you don’t belong to it.

Remember that you are not the weather.

You are the sky.

We can choose to be blown away

and knocked off our feet…

or we can choose

to have the compassionate and wise view from above.

We can be observant

while holding on to

who we really are.

Only by holding fast to the good in us –

our expansive being –

can we truly be helpful

or even present.

So, keep your eyes open

while patiently riding it out.

Don’t allow yourself to get knocked over

or sucked into the whirlwind.

Be ever-present and calm

just like the blue sky

which endures every storm.

“I am the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” – Pema Chodron

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Releasing the Bud

February 26, 2020March 15, 2020 becomingandbeholding2 Comments

That thing you have been dodging –

maybe for years,

could be your true gift.

We often hide

and shy away from

the reason we are here –

what we have to offer.

We don’t mean to…

In fact, we think we are doing the best we can.

But our inner restlessness

and discomfort with life,

is often a clue

that we are leaning in the wrong direction.

We are a flower

that hesitates to bloom –

being tight in the bud.

Eventually, we listen to inspiration

and we are nudged

to dare and turn toward the sunshine

to stretch our petals.

We open up.

As we stretch and grow,

stretch and grow,

we are quenched with grace

and a new freedom.

Finally, we are on the beam,

warmed by a dazzling light which

illuminates our path ahead.

We become a blessing for others

in the sharing of our gift.

We radiate.

This is what it means

to say “Yes!”

to the life and love

born within us.

Nothing is more beautiful

or so urgently needed.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Nevertheless, Spring Forth!

January 10, 2020January 10, 2020 becomingandbeholding4 Comments

The weight is heavy –

this boulder on top of you.

It came out of nowhere!

You are stuck.

Never before have you felt such a hard, unrelenting blockage.

This rock is cold.

This pain is real.

It is time to hunker down

and see who is with you –

to be reminded that you are not alone.

Your roots reach to touch others

who share your dilemma,

your pain.

As the seeds within you

fight for survival,

you dare to stretch.

You find another.

Together, your reach is stronger.

Together, you find a community –

one that works together

to search the cold surfaces

to find the cracks.

For, no matter how hard the rock is,

it is no match

for the faith of a community

that seeks the light.

Your strength is in knowing that

the light is always there.

It cannot be extinguished –

no matter how big or daunting

the rock is.

Therefore, bloom!

Do not give up.

Reach for the light together.

Crack that rock apart

and let the strength within

spring forth!

You have it in you –

for you were born to find the light.

Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Be You

January 2, 2020January 2, 2020 becomingandbeholding14 Comments

There are examples everywhere…

The petals of the flower

unfold with grace

and without struggle.

The dog wags his tail

without question

or worry about how silly he may appear.

The cloud floats

across a big sky –

allowing the breezes to direct it.

The waves surge –

rising and falling

to a mysterious rhythm and song

and changes as necessary.

So, what is this angst

that pulls at you,

fooling you into thinking

that there is something wrong?

Look at the path ahead.

It unwinds without effort.

You need not know where it leads.

It matters not

how your path differs

from the one next to you.

This is your path.

Feel the ground under you.

Walk.